Sometimes you know when it’s comin’. Sometimes you don’t. Ultimately, none of us do. One thing for sure, we all know it’s comin’. I use that argument often to laugh in the face of “non smokers” and people that swear second hand smoke is gonna be their undoing. All of that is bullshit. When it’s your time, it is your time.

I am fortunate enough to still have both of my parents as I write this. I have, however, lost close family members. Suddenly, and over the course of time. When you get down to it, I suppose all were lost over the course of time.

My mothers father passed when I was in my single digit, or early double digit years. Hardened arteries. I knew him. I didn’t have the chance to know him like I know I’d like to know him now, but, when his time came, there was certainly nothing I could do about it. I lived far away from my grandfathers. I got to see them, but I got to see them in “doses”. My fathers father passed next. Heart Attack.

I spent time with both of those Grand Daddies. They were different in many ways, but very much the same in others. Both of ‘em loved me. Both of ‘em smiled, laughed, grinned, and were mischevious with me. They knew, as I do, that you can’t get a boy to “behave” all the time, and be their friend as well, so if they’re gonna misbehave, they might as well do the misbehavin’ with some supervision. Sometimes, even ol’ fella’s have to go back to bein’ boys. Thats where the bond is made.

I next lost my cousin Carl. Don’t even crank up a slingblade quote… I’ll delete it. Carl and I were about the same age. He had a couple years on me. Blonde headed blue eyed rascal. I burnt up his volkswagen bug outside Uncle Sherwoods house one day while we were playin’ pool. I didn’t do it on purpose, and I don’t know for certain that I actually did it, but I have a feelin’ that a cigarette I left in the ashtray eventually caught fire in the car while we were… playin’ pool. A couple years after that, Carl went off to North Carolina State and was hit by a train. I’m not sure I’ve been told the “actual truth” about what happened there, but it really doesn’t matter. It’s a cousin I had, but have no more. His brother Lee is still around and I see him when I go south, but we just weren’t as close as Carl and I were. Carl used to whip my ass. ‘Cause he could. I’d have done the same to him.

I lost my great aunt Mabel next. She was a tough ol’ coot. A take no shit religious woman who never married, nor had a drivers license. Now, shoot a gun, oh yeah. Split a serpent with a garden hoe, no problem. She was the nicest bad ass you’d ever meet. She lived with my mothers mother, and her husband. They worked a farm and raised 5 children together. Nobody thought it was weird. I certainly didn’t. She was my Aunt Mabel, and she was alright with me. One time when I was a kid, I was down there tryin’ out all the cool shit you can do when you’re on a farm that you can’t do in the “city”. Like shoot pellet guns at match stick to see if you can get ‘em to light. Well, this particular time, yours truly got two bb’s stuck in the chamber, and bein’ the citislicker I was, knowin’ that the bb’s were held in the chamber by a magnet, I closed the chamber, and tapped the end of the barrel with my left hand tryin’ to jar loose the extra bb. I jarred it loose alright. My barrell bangin’ caused the gun to fire, and I put a hole in my hand. It stung like shit. I hollered and went runnin’ into the house. I was hollerin’ I got shot by a bb, I got shot by a bb. Aunt Mabel come ’round the corner with a cotton ball and some rubbin’ alcohol and said, what kind of Bee was it? Talk about laughin’ while you’re cryin’… Never forget that one. She rounded up grandmama who carried me into town and the local yocal doc did his best gunsmoke imitation of “droppin’ the bullet in the pan” with a “clank”. He gave me the damned bb once he pulled it out of my hand from the other other side from where it entered.

My father’s mother, passed on next. She had a tough row. Her health declined over a good amount of time. Some of her mind went along with her health. It was not an easy thing to watch happen. She got to be with both my children while she was still able to enjoy that time. She came up here to visit while they were both gettin’ started. She finally passed on, and we were all glad that she was finally in a better place. Her time near the end wasn’t quality time by any measure. It wasn’t because her loved ones didn’t try to make it that way, it just wasn’t able to be made that way. Now this was tough. This woman was hell on crabs. She and grand daddy would take us crabbin’ at Uncle Alton’s in Pamlico. She was hell on wheels with the crabs. Did you know, a 6 and 1/2 ounze co-cola bottle was all you needed to rip off a crabs claws and toss ‘em into one tin pail and throw the body into the other? I didn’t think so.

Shortly after that, I lost my Uncle Corky. Carl’s father. It happened suddenly. One night, he went out on the deck to burn a smoke, we believe, and fell dead on the deck right there. He was certainly a character. Good dude, coached little leaguers after his own were out of the game. Enjoyed public service. Loved to bullshit. Was my kind of “sarcastic”. Gone overnight.

The next “hit” was one of my absolutely favorite uncles. Uncle Raymond. He was my mothers youngest brother. He taught me so much. How to drive tractors, how to drive trucks, how to hang ‘bacca, how to crop ‘bacca, how to kill snakes, how to feed hogs, how to drink, how to cook pigs, how to make fish stew… on and on and on. How to get mad. How to get even. How to get over it. He passed 3 years ago March 5th. I was lost. I was empty. I was a shell of what I was days before. He was workin’ us pretty hard on hot day on the ‘bacca farm. This was before bulk barns, we had a hangin’ crew and the hole crew went to the barn. Evidently we weren’t keepin up with his “time” and he took liberty at lunch time to bring that up, along with the fact the my cousins and I were playin’ poker in the front bedroom after lunch before goin’ back to work. He wasn’t likin’ the poker/gamblin’ thing much and made his point known that if we didn’t stop, we wouldn’t have a job… Me bein’ the knuckle head I was, said fine, take it and shove it. I’ll sit here and watch you all bust ass in 100 degree weather… Ha Ha Ha have fun mofo. He said, hey, one monkey don’t stop no show. I said, naw, you’re right, but it’ll sure as shit slow it down. I sat on the front porch swing that afternoon drinkin’ sweet tea watchin that crew fuckup all afternoon. The next mornin’ everybodies pride was healed and the crew was back. I missed him when he left us… missed him bad. He “got” me, and I “got” him. We got along good.

‘Bout 2 years ago, I lost my brother in law. He was on disability. He was dependent on some meds that ran out because he moved to an apartment. I didn’t want him to move in here, ’cause I’ve housed my share of in-laws and suggested to the wife that there wasn’t a reason for him to move in with us, and that usually that movin’ in didn’t have a favorable outcome for us as a family. Long and short of it, he got his own place. His meds were late. He finally received ‘em and took “too many” of ‘em. My wife and daughter found him in that apartment. He’d been gone a couple of days. It wasn’t pretty for them, or for anybody. Her oldest brother lives with us now. After that, how could I say no…

You might be wonderin’ why I’ve dropped all this on the blog… Well it’s becuase of this fella and what he’s goin’ through. Life ain’t fair. It sometimes ain’t right. But it is what it is. Temporary. I wish him and his family all the best, and hope his mamma does as well as can be expected. Times like these are tryin’. It’s hard to imagine what you go through if you haven’t gone through it. I wish him the best.

I was all set to take off the week of spring break in my kids schools. I was gonna wander by Sam’s neck of the woods, and hopefully meet up with him. I may still, but my time away will be shortened I believe.

The powers that be decided to do a significant network change on Good Friday, which, I believe, would have been included in the time I would have been “off”. Now even though this change is significant, and they’re over paranoid about the time it takes for DNS changes to take effect… still it sucks. I didn’t hear anything about the timeframe of the planned changes until last Friday. Now, if I go, I will either have to leave on a Friday, which is ok, and return on the following Thursday to be back by Good Friday, to “babysit” these changes.

I’m half tempted to try to do it from NC, and then make a case for why I don’t need to be at the office to do what I do. Anyway… I’m hoping that spring break is the week “before” that, so there won’t be any interruptions to my plans, but if there has to be, then, there has to be. I won’t be able to get any “real time” off until late July again due to baseball. I so want to hit the beach of Emerald Isle around 2nd or 3rd week of September and kill the Spot… I’ll be lucky if I have enough time left at that point to get there that time of year.

Out of town baseball tourneys can take up the random Friday/Monday of a weekend to participate in and we have quite a few of those kinds of tournaments. Not to mention, “mental health days” taken along the way to keep one from going postal…

Well, I’ve gotta wrap up and get my shit together for the practice tonight… 6:30 – 8:00… I’ll be glad when I’m back home.

Tonight, I had a minor rejuvination. I tried to drag the boy along with me, but he decided he’d rather play basketball with his mates. That he did. After I took care of my chore, I headed to “Outback Steakhouse”. I hadn’t had a cut of their meat for quite a while and the thought of doin’ that felt good to me. So I did it. I wound up with a decent cut of meat cooked medium rare, a baked potatoe, a salad, some butter, bread, and a tall beer. Just what I needed. Uninterrupted by my own spawn, just flat out rare meet, amber ale, and whatever the hell I felt like.

In my “town” recently they’ve gone ‘bacca Nazi and you can’t smoke within 20 feet of an “establishment”. So… I was smokeless during my meal. I was amused however. The 1.5 foot little fellow in the booth in front of me found me to his likin’. Musta been the black hat, black jacket, and the good ol charm of a happy live and let live redneck. He quit starin’ at the lights once I sat down. There’s only so much “howdy how you doin’” kind of affection you can give to a little person like that ‘fore the mother starts wonderin’ and givin’ you “the look”. Hell, little dude was gigglin’, and I was about to, we were just havin’ fun in a dumb way, boys will be boys who’s dumber then who way, but alas, he was “rescued” and steered away from the”bad man”.

It didn’t matter all that much, my salad arrived, and was consumed, as was the bread and butter, and finally the steak and tater. I did not forget the tall beer either, lest you be wonderin’. When I left, I felt better. Men are pretty easy to please when you get down to it. Good meat, good tater’s, good bread and good beer, and enough peace to enjoy ‘em in. Pretty simple ain’t it?

I just finished payin’ the man, and boy howdy am I happier then a pig in shit. I dread the tax filing process. The paperwork, the extortion, the waitin’ for the refund. There really isn’t a damned good thing about the process. You don’t have to drop jack on tax software, but I do. You don’t have to drop more jack on state tax software, but I do. You don’t have to file electronically, but I do. I can get my money back for one of those filings if I want to scrounge up the rebate coupon, mail it in, and wait, but I don’t. I figure, they figure on that situation. I find it funny that you can do damned near everything electronically when it comes to taxes except for gettin’ you rebate. Yall spose that was just on “oversight” on their part?

Anybody got, or know of, a hand util to convert MP3’s to ASF’s? I could use one if you could point me in the “direction” of one.

‘Neck