14 YEAR OLD WARRIOR FATHER-SON SOFTBALL GAME
DATE: SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2005
LOCATION: HIGHLANDS PARK DIAMOND#4 (RESERVED UNDER “MCD******”)
TIME:2:00-4:00PM (please plan on arriving by 1:30)
FORMAT:see below
ITEMS TO BRING: GLOVES, BATS, WATER (I HAVE SOFTBALLS AND BASES). CLEATS ARE ALLOWED…JUST BE CAREFUL

SPECIFICS: The game will feature the fathers against the sons. Game will be 7 innings. Dads batting order will mirror son’s batting order depending on coin flip (uniform number lowest to highest, or highest to lowest). Dads will be home team. 10 players on the field (4 outfielders). Foul ball with 2 strikes will be a 3rd strike and thus a strike out. No arc limit on pitches…pitching is all underhand slow pitch. Walks will be allowed as constituted by 4 balls.

Finally, for the boys only, each boy must play a different position every inning. example… Buzz can only play shortstop 1 inning, etc. This will force the boys to rotate positions. Dads have final say on all disputed calls…including balls and strikes. Pitch landing on home plate is automatically considered a strike.

Dad’s…..PLEASE email me at mp*****h@columbus.rr.com with any questions or comments. I can also be reached at 555-1212. I would also like to know what position you would feel comfortable playing…please specify a couple options…just so I know in advance of Sunday if we have 6 potential secondbasemans and NO centerfielders.

I asked to play DH, Catcher, or First base.

By the way, “Buzz” is my boy.

I’m startin’ to like these rules.

Yall didn’t know you were playin’ a game every time you came through here did you? I didn’t either. I changed my top right picture a while back from the skull and xbones with a dot, to the metallic rebel flag sticker. Hey, a little change er’y now and then aint so bad, but… I left the random picture that showed up beneath that one.

Funny thing is, er’y now and then I’d come in and get two rebel flags… After a little while it got me to thinkin’… “Man, that’s like a slot machine, only without the payout”… So, to make it more like a slot machine, I added another instance of a “random” picture. The first one’s always the same, but the other two, hell, they’re random’s. If you get XXX(triple Reble flag), holler out “HELL YEAH” in the comments of the post at the top. I’ll underdstand.

The payout aint shit, niether is the cost, but the feelin’s kinda good.

In my playin’ time so far, I’ve hit two RedNeck’s and a Zippo, and two RedNeck’s and a pretty woman.

… Tough call as to which ot the two I’d take.

Where’s the rest of the worl’ “support system” that came in with the big wave event? Are all other countries just gonna let us fend for ourselves?

I haven’t gone out and searched, but I’m not hearin’ dick about anybody anywhere offerin’ up help for our problem. If that’s true, and I hope it’s not, then what the fuck are they waitin’ for? Do we “just not want any help” with that mess, or what? Where is France? They damned near speak the native language down there. I guess we’re better off not havin’ them. Hell, they can’t figure out fire alarms. Or Canada for that matter.

I shouldn’t pick on the weak kid, I know, but I swear, after that tsunami stuff, and all the bitchin’ about how we weren’t doin’ enough, or givin’ enough, where in the hell is that kinda talk now? What? This stuff is supposed to be “budgeted” for? Where’s you bleedin’ heart now? I haven’t heard a thing about anybody else, other then us, sendin’ people, or cash, or supplies, down there to help out.

If I’m wrong about that, by all means, let me know…

If I’m not, well then, the rest of the worl’ knows why Americans can seem arrogant. ‘Cause we can take care of our own in a situation like Katrina has laid on us when you all just plain don’t give a fuck.

Well you see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
– Cliff Clavin, “Cheers”

I think Cliff had some RedNeck in him… yes I do.

It was a little “longer” test then my attention span can usually handle, but in the end, some of what it had to reveal was close… ’til it got to the part about me wantin’ to send ‘em a thousand dollars… (Thanks Larry)

Humphrey Bogart You scored 45% Tough, 0% Roguish, 47% Friendly, and 9% Charming!

You’re the original man of honor, rough and tough but willing to stick your neck out when you need to, despite what you might say to the contrary. You’re a complex character full of spit and vinegar, but with a soft heart and a tender streak that you try to hide. There’s usually a complicated dame in the picture, someone who sees the real you behind all the tough talk and can dish it out as well as you can. You’re not easy to get next to, but when you find the right partner, you’re caring and loyal to a fault. A big fault. But you take it on the chin and move on, nursing your pain inside and maintaining your armor…until the next dame walks in. Or possibly the same dame, and of all the gin joints in all the world, it had to be yours. Co-stars include Ingrid Bergman and Lauren Bacall, hot chicks with problems. Find out what kind of classic dame you’d make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

However…

Along side other ol’ farts like me I stacked up this way.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 86% on Tough <– Don’t know about this, It might be a ploy to make us ol’ one’s feel needed…
You scored higher than 0% on Roguish <– Roguish? What the hell does that mean?
You scored higher than 79% on Friendly <– I’m a friendly person most of the time, but I have my moments.
You scored higher than 9% on Charming <– Well duh!