I’m offerin’ this little audio in the hopes that the lady folk, well hell, to be politically correct, any sex folk(which is a nice way for me to say fella’s can vote too), that stop through here will be able to consider which profession it is they’d prefer as a lover. Even you Zonker. But man, I’m sorry, there’s no mention of running little people in that song. I tried man. I really did. Those are hard to find. Will a Jockey do in a pinch?

Granted, it’s not an all inclusive list, in fact, as you might expect, my profession is sadly omitted, but I’ve always fashioned myself a bit of a Cowboy. I can fall off a horse, not good for the ribs, especially when you got on the horse from a fence, and the horse didn’t move at all. I might have well jumped sideways off the fence to the ground…, and I like Cowgirls… is that good enough. I”m gonna put up a little poll over on the left, ’cause it looks like I FINALLY got the answer I wanted out that last poll, Anybody but Hillary? I now have a warm fuzzy ’bout the future… and didn’t even have to steal the election cheat, thank you very much…

Listen closely now, somewhere, somehow, most men(not so much women) will fit into one of those categories, and no, egg suckin’ dawgs, and pigs, ain’t mentioned, yet, so don’t go there

If you ain’t got 10 or 15 minutes to kill, hit your back button…

I was gonna try to chime in on the rash of ol’ youtube vid’s of bands from back in the day. I couldn’t find a decent Bad Company video clip, Jethro Tull came back nothing, and then, I made the mistake of queryin’ Alice Cooper.

It appears he and the muppets have had quite a past, and it is well documented. Watch at your own risk. These videos are no longer politically correct, nor something many of you would ever dream of showing your chirrens… However, muppets aside, at the time, I dug ‘em. The videos, not the muppets…

But, the muppets?… Come on man. That’s just another reason why my hero’s have always been cowboys. At least they sing their hookers a song. Not a scary one either. A sad one albeit, but they still sing it. Now, if I could just learn to sing, and find a hooker… a good one I’d be set. Yes, I imagine there are bad ones. But they only come out at Halloween, or when the COPS show is in town.

Maybe the song below explains this post. Maybe it doesn’t…

Country overload… probably. What did you expect when you started readin’ a blog that started with RedNeck? Iggy Pop?

Before Aunt Mabel passed away, back when she and Grand Mama were a kick ass tag team, in the garden, and the kitchen, they could bust 3 or 4 of these puppies out a day. Now, Grand Mama’s gettin’ up there in age, but she do love her grand young’ns that live far away from civilization. She sends me, and my sister each a half a cake whenever Mom and Dad return from Carolina. I’ve not seen it in other states, so maybe it is a Carolina deal, but whether it is or not, I’t'll make you feel fat just lookin’ at it, and it’s damned good. If you like Chocolate, you’d like this. I try to avoid it, but ‘Neckson doesn’t know it’s here, and so I got a piece or two of it today. Now that the cakes out of the bag, it won’t last two, or three days. With his metabolism, and appetite, it’s gone. Trade you some cake for some collards bitterman. ‘Neckson don’t like them either…

That was yesterdays catch for me. 6 Crappie, 5 Bluegill, 2 Bass, and one… BULLFROG. He had to be the damned dumbest bullfrog I’ve ever encountered. I was walkin’ the banks and fishin’ with a black and blue buzz bait with a gold blade. I call it Mr. T. Anyway, I happened to see this big boy sunnin’ himself facin’ the bank. Now usually those bad boys tremble in fear of me and scurry on back into the pond, but evidently, this fella stumbled on some peyote somewhere along the line. I did not cast the lure toward him, I simply lowered the rod to see what he’d do.

Damned if he didn’t unfurl his Gene Simmonness and have a shot at the lure. He couldn’t get the whole thing in at first, so I repeated the process and the fool hit it again, still with no success. The third time was a charm… He actually tried to chew it up and while I was standing there in amazement that I hadn’t caught shit on Mr. T. all mornin’, and now have a 1 lb. bullfrog on him, that thought was quickly dashed by thoughts of what the hell do I do now? I’ve never taken a bull frog off a buzz bait before. Luckily, I didn’t have to. He kicked and clawed his way loose from the hook and hopped ass back into the friendly confines of his pond palace.

‘Twas a first for me. The only thing I can think that caused him to strike that lure was the black and blue skirt. It must’ve looked like a big assed dragonfly or something. I was going to make another comment about black and blue skirts, but the dragonfly reference kinda buzz killed that thought.

I’d go back again today if I could, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen. I guess I’ll kick around in the garage for a while, maybe clean my shovel. Some people move mountains with their shovel, others, well they shovel dog poop. They’re both decorative and cost about the same I figure, one just stinks worse then the other.

I’ve got a few. Many I’ve met over the last few years. Good one’s all. There are neighbors, sometimes your friend, sometimes gossip central. I have a couple neighbors that I truly like, some of them have moved on to different neighborhoods, some have stayed here.

One friend and neighbor is .. Red, we’ll call him. He is red headed, and more red necked then me if you can believe that. We’ve got a working relationship, my mechanical shit breaks, he helps, his computer shit breaks, I help. We drink beer. It’s all good. He’s a dimocrat, I’m, not. He rants and raves about how Gdub is screwin’ the unions and I just grin. ‘Cause he probably is, and they probably deserve it. After all, Mexicans do need jobs. Especially if they’re illegal aliens. Thats a double tough life. You can cut Eric’s grass or you can render your pay from a drive through window. Or, bump off a union dude with a sweet set up by installin’ insulation at half price. Mexicans are gettin’ theirs now. Face it. Hell, they’re invadin’ farm hand jobs… wait, that didn’t sound right… they’re takin’ farm hands jobs in NC and nobody down there is happy about that, but they work like hell. They do not fuck around.

The arguments we have over politics, and automobile brand, and… other shit are just plain fun. He holds no grudges, nor do I. We just like hangin’ out. He’s a widower, and I might as well be. He’s two son’s, I’ve one son and one daughter. Single, so to speak, fathers. Kid’s are about the same ages. His youngest is much younger then either of mine, but our oldest is the same age, and go to the same school.

They don’t hang together, yet, but hey… Kid’s are kids. They’re funky that way. Red’s a cool dude now. He drops an occasional redneck proverb on me I haven’t heard before, and that’s always a bright spot. Then there’s the day last summer when he called me up to ask me if I had a gun. I’m thinkin’ WTF?

Yeah I got one, what do you need it for? There was a ‘coon, racoon, that had raised 13 kinds of hell in his back yard the night before and his dog made sure it did not go silently. Turns out the coon shimmied up a tree and got caught in a Y in the tree and was hangin’ there just sufferin’. It looked like it was humpin’ the tree when we looked at it. We had some good laughs at that one.

I told him I didn’t think he needed a gun to get rid of the varmit, but I had a Louisville Slugger in the truck that I thought would do the job. Put it out of it’s misery. He declined, and I was headed out to the club to fish. Eventually darkness came and the thing got gone. Where to, neither he or I know.

I stopped by and talked to ol’ Red this evenin’ for a spell. Gettin’ insurance for kids, and licensing vehicles for the to “learn” in is … well, it sucks, but we’ll all go through it for it’s over if we have kids.

Neckson is havin’ a bit of a mental issue at the plate this year. I was lookin’ on youtube for that JoBu quote from the movie Major League, but I couldn’t find it. If one of y’all can, please email the link to me. I love that clip. Nothin’ says I love you like “Fuck you Jobu”.

Here’s some more quote’s from ol’ Pedro…

Pedro Cerrano: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.

Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.

Isn’t Pedro, or wasn’t Pedro the president on 24? It is very bad to steal Jobu’s rum. Indeed.

Let’s say… Velociman wrote a commercial, Ellison directed it, and I attempted to muddle through as the actor. It’d probably turn out like this…

I flatter myself. It does remind me of me tryin’ to muddle through a page full of 5$ words though…