Ya Reckon?
Things been gettin’ a little pink around here lately. I figured it was time to go back to RED again…
Don’t play these around Grandma, or Momma, or the youngin’s. I told you so if you do… Daddy will grin, so will your uncles, and your brothers. Your aunts and sisters will be pissed at you. Probably throw somethin’. Trust me. Especially if you make it through the last song… which reminds me, if you’ve got the attention span of a flea, flee.
PG13 – Long Haired RedNeck:
R – If that ain’t Country:
X ok, Triple X – Whips & Things: (had to include something of interest for Velociman to get him outta the truck) That song makes me want to get up and try to clog dance… not to mention it’s the wickedest earworm I’ve ever had… Sing that one ’round the house and check out the looks you’ll get.
Here’s what a person smarter than me had to write about the man… I’ve interjected stupidity where I thought it was needed…
A life-long renegade, singer/songwriter David Allan Coe was one of the most colorful and unpredictable characters”Craziest MF’ers” in country music history. One of the pioneering artists of the outlaw country movement of the ’70s, he didn’t have many big hits — only three of his singles hit the Top Ten — but he was among the biggest cult figures in country music throughout his career.”Country music has cult figures?… Who’da thunk it. We talkin’ Dolly Parton, Porter Wagner(country Barbie & Ken)… Terry Bradshaw… What?”
Born in Akron, Ohio,“aka Rubber Town“ Coe first got into trouble with the law at age nine.“wonder what took him so long“ As a result, he was sent to reform school.“Yeah, that worked, he’s reformed alright“ For the next 20 years, he never spent more than a handful of months outside of a correctional facility — he spent much of his 20s in the Ohio State Penitentiary.“I think she meant “The Ohio State Penitentiary“ Released from prison in 1967, the wild-haired, earring wearing, heavily tattooed Coe“Think Zonker like arms here, mullet too probably“ went straight for Nashville, where he lived in a hearse“Apparently it’s tough to hook up with ain AirStreem and pickup truck when you’re fresh outta the pokey…“ that he parked in front of the old Ryman Auditorium, the home of the Grand Ole Opry. Although he didn’t conform to Nashville’s professional standards“Shoot, I can’t see why not?“, he soon gained the attention of the independent label, Plantation Records“Imagine that, Plantation Records… a dream come true for him I’m sure“, which released Coe’s debut album Penitentiary Blues in 1968. Followed within a year by a second volume, all of the songs on these albums were based on his prison experiences.“I reckon your write and sing about what you know best“
Coe then toured with Grand Funk Railroad, a signal that he drew as much from rock’s traditions as he did from country. Soon, he began performing in a rhinestone suit given to him by Mel Tillis,”The Mel T’t'tt’t't”t’t't’t'illis? Wonder who Glen Campbell wrote the song about David or Mel?” as well as a Lone Ranger mask”Hi Ho Tonto… AWAY!“, and began calling himself the “Masked Rhinestone Cowboy.”That sounds like a professional wrestler’s name, Yeah, I’m SuperMan” Coe’s concerts became notorious for their unpredictability — frequently he would roar up on stage astride his enormous Harley, swearing at the audience.”Now I know where Rob Halford got it from” He cultivated a large cult following with his act,”Let’s do the time warp agaiiiiin” but he couldn’t break into the mainstream.”Hmmm, wonder why?” However, other artists found success with his songs — in 1972, Billie Jo Spears”Brittney’s Grandma, no doubt… I bet he did her. Any takers?” had a minor hit with his “Souvenirs California Mem’rys,” and in 1973, Tanya Tucker had a number one hit with Coe’s “Would You Lay with Me (in a Field of Stone).”If it ain’t fire, or ice, I’m good, stone will work Tanya, then again, it could’ve been a Marine love song. Who knows?” After Tucker’s hit, David Allan Coe suddenly became one of Nashville’s hottest songwriters”‘Cause he was half way to hell by then“; some of the biggest country artists — including Willie Nelson, George Jones and Tammy Wynette — recorded his tunes, leading to his own contract with Columbia Records.”Hello? McFly?”
Coe’s first two singles for Columbia didn’t come close to the country Top 40, but his 1975 cover of Steve Goodman’s “You Never Even Called Me by My Name” cracked the Top Ten.”That’s a good song now…” Although a string of moderate hits followed, he rarely cracked the country Top 40, although in 1977 Johnny Paycheck took Coe’s “Take This Job and Shove It”"Amen Brother” to number one. During his 13-year association with Columbia, Coe released 26 albums, including the double album set For the Record … The First Ten Years (1984), 1986’s Son of the South (featuring Willie, Waylon, Jessi Colter and other “outlaws”"I didn’t make the cut“), and the highly regarded Matter of Life….and Death (1987).
Although Coe had a successful career, it was one plagued with many setbacks. The conservative Nashville music industry frequently snubbed him and he had tax problems with the IRS”What are you in for Willie…“; at one time, they seized his Key West home”took Buffet’s house“, and he went to live in a Tennessee cave”with Eric, no doubt” until he got back on his feet. Towards the end of the ’80s, Coe remarried and began to settle down. Throughout the ’90s, he was a popular concert attraction in America and Europe. In addition to his musical career, he also acted in a few movies including The Last Days of Frank and Jesse James”Gotta rent that one“. He also published a novel, Psychopath”gotta check that one outta the library“, and an autobiography.”and this one too. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” The LP Recommended for Airplay was issued in 1999. The new millennium saw the release of Long Haired Country Boy in 2000; Songwriter of the Tear appeared on Cleveland the following year.
- Sandra Brennan, All Music Guide
Apologies to T1G and Yabu… I couldn’t figure out where to fit y’all in David’s upbringin’… My bad. Y’all probably don’t want nothin’ to do with this anyway…
The actual writings of Sandra, not bastardized by me, can be found here.
Put your liquids, down, finish chewin’ whatever is in your pie hole, grab a bag just in case, and pray to the Lord above that this never happens to you…
Snagged from here…
When it rains inside, it ain’t boring… it’s trouble…
Go to the “quickie mart”, no, not for a quickie, fugetaboutit, but for a key chain “laser” light, and beer. Maybe some peanuts. That’s right.
Then, come home, call the dogs from under the porch(’cause it’s rainin’ out in the yard), get ‘em inside the house and start fuckin’ around with their heads.
Pop the button on the “laser“, and see which one of ‘em hates itty-bitty 7-up dot the most.
Once that step is complete and you have determined which one you can piss off the most with the “laser“. Press button, shake “laser” pointer, repeat until said dog is stirred into an ass bitin’ frenzy.
When the brain bustin’, eye bulgin’, carpet stompin’, wall climbin’, dog spinnin’ idiot is driven to an uber adrenaline state…. Why, you just shine the “laser” on the other dogs ass. The “laser” can’t shine on same dog’s ass all the time though. Confusious said… that’s why.
Make jiffy-pop, watch fight. Rinse, repeat, as needed.
When it stops rainin’… call in a predator and let the dogs out in the yard… them fella’s probably get tired of trackin’ towel heads all day with nothin’ much happenin’… get your tax dollars worth, let ‘em see a fake dog fight. Or, just go fishin.
If I had one of those predators, I’d probably give up fishin’, just sit on the porch with my joy stick and fuck around with the dogs and local towel head’s minds all day. 7-11 surveillance… not to be confused with 24-7-365.
Nah… I’d still fish.
Nice formattin’ huh. Compliments of intardnet exploder… You’re welcome.
There’s a shit load of it on the various boob tubes in my house. Even on my TV machine. They only run fishin’ shows for so long, and then, if History Channel is runnin’ one of those dumb shows they show that ain’t got shit to do with history… I’ll stop the remote and watch a car wreck for a spell. There’s some that aren’t just flat out unbelievable, but there’s a boat load that still are. One of them that I spy when I reload at the refrigerator is “America’s Top Model”. I cannot stand that shit bag of a show. I’d rather watch Unique Whips, or hell, for as bad as it is, even Pinks. With Hogan, and Dog gettin’ bitch slapped by A&E recently for stupid things, it’s put a serious crimp on my TV watchin’ style.
Got my boat stickers in the mail today, so that completes the trifecta o’ bullshit required to start this fishin’ season which includes fishin’ license, trailer tag, and boat sticker. They just need to put the docks back in the dam and I’m off. Much less TV, a little less beer, and a lot more sunburn. I’ve got some Aloe from last year that I didn’t buy from the state, so, it’s still good. No renewal necessary. It was sunny and 55 today, no gale force winds, so I hope, things are lookin’ up weather wise ’round these parts. It’s ’bout damned time. I’m sick of rain, sleet, snow, followed by more rain, cold, and grey skies.
Bring on Spring…
I was checkin’ out the ol’ sitemeeter and I had a comer from Last One Speaks… I went there, tryin’ to see how somebody got here from there, and lo and behold, I’m listed in good company under the category of Drunks, Poets, and Bad Boys.
2 outta three ain’t bad I reckon. I’m more of a limerick fella… not so much a poet. There once was a man from Nantucket…
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