I had hopes one time, of attending them and watching my son play. Those hopes have faded. I do enjoy watchin’ the youngsters bang it out though. Do they get the ratings of college football, or college basketball? No. I believe that’s because of when they’re on TV. It’s a time of the year when people aren’t cooped up. They’re out and about doin’ yard work, fishin’, grillin’, partyin’, golfin’, you name it. There’s something else to do this time of year other than watchin’ sports on TV and so they probably don’t get the props those young athletes should get. Anyway, here’s a little ditty that I always did like. I wasn’t never much of a Kenny Rogers fan, other than “You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel”, but I like this song.
I bet the bull dogs win it… 
I saw an article by some idiot today from the San got-damned FranCRisco Chronicle spouting off about how much the passing of Tim Russert was over hyped. Look, you want to talk over hyped, let’s talk gay marriage news coverage. Now that’s over hyped. Every other article I see on news sites is something or another to do with gay got-damned freakin’ marriages. I don’t care which gay person is marrying the other gay person. Who really gives a shit other than the pair. Who cares how fast they run to the chapel? It’s not like it’s the NFL combine… Hell, never mind, make that the court house, now we might be in the NFL combine neighborhood. I am tired of having to skip all the news articles about peter puffers, fudge packers and carpet munchers that are totally geeked over the fact they can get married. I’ve been readin’ ‘em forever it seems. Just go get married if you can, and STFU about it already, ok? It’s not like I am your pal and you sent me an invitation. See what I mean, I just don’t give a flyin’ fuck at a rollin’ dough nut over it.
I don’t care what you do with your junk in a bath house in San got-damned FranCRisco, that’s your business. You want to make a commitment to your “partner”, fine, do it, go right the hell ahead as far as I’m concerned. That’s your business. MSM, quit bitchin’ and talkin’ about Russert, he ain’t here to defend himself from you asshats, and while your at it, please skip the gay marriage non stories as well. I’m sure he’d have gladly taken that trade off. Who in the hell except the two people involved for the last 55 years really gives a crap? Their parents? Their friends? Ok, yep, that’s pretty much it.
I’m not even gonna go into the the tax ramifications, which, by the way, neither is the MSM, or the employment benefits issues, I’ll leave that to the gACLU. They dig that stuff and most of the time, have time to waste.
Please, no more gay marriage articles. I just don’t give a crap aside from the facts related to the last paragraph, and that, I’m sure, will be a drawn out pissin’ match as well.
Phhhhht!
That last song is so 13 years ago… that first one is right now though.
13 years later, … his hands could whoop my ass. No lie. I ain’t told him that though. Like he’ll listen to anything I say anyway.
in Joe’s Garage… we didn’t have no dope or LSD, but a couple of quarts of beer would fix it…
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER…
That was Joe’s first confrontation with The Law.
Naturally, we were easy on him.
One of our friendly counselors gave him
A do-nut… and told him to
Stick closer to church-oriented social activities.
Lyrics(like your gonna check ‘em)… anyway if you do, the Larry in the conversation, is actually “Larry” Jihad-Genie in bottle…
JOE:
It wasn’t very large
There was just enough room to cram the drums
In the corner over by the Dodge
It was a fifty-four
With a mashed up door
And à cheesy little amp
With a sign on the front said
“Fender Champ”
And a second-hand guitar
It was a Stratocaster with a whammy barAt this point, LARRY(a guy who will eventually give up music
and earn a respectable living as a roadie for a group called Toad-O)
joins in the song…LARRY:
We could jam in Joe’s Garage
His mama was screamin’
His dad was mad
We was playin’ the same old song
In the afternoon ‘n’ sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, ‘n’ easy too
So we wouldn’t get it wrong
All we did was bend the string like…Hey!
Down in Joe’s Garage
We didn’t have no dope or LSD
But a coupla quartsa beer
Would fix it so the intonation
Would not offend yer ear
And the same old chords goin’ over ‘n’ over
Became a symphony
We would play it again ‘n’ again ‘n’ again
‘Cause it sounded good to me
ONE MORE TIME!We could jam in Joe’s Garage
His mama was screamin’, “TURN IT DOWN!”
We was playin’ the same old song
In the afternoon ‘n’ sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, and easy too
So we wouldn’t get it wrong
Even if you played it on a saxophone
We thought we was pretty good
We talked about keepin’ the band together
‘N’ we figured that we should
‘Cause about this time we was gettin’ the eye
From the girls in the neighborhood
They’d all come over ‘n’ dance around like…Twenty teen-age girls dash in and go STOMP-CLAP, STOMP-CLAP-CLAP…
So we picked out à stupid name
Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks
‘N’ we was on our way to fame
Got matching suits
‘N’ Beatle Boots
‘N’ a sign on the back of the car
‘N’ we was ready to work in a GO-GO BarONE TWO THREE FOUR
LET’S SEE IF YOU GOT SOME MORE!People seemed to like our song
They got up ‘n’ danced ‘n made a lotta noise
An’ it wasn’t ‘fore very long
A guy from a company we can’t name
Said we oughta take his pen
‘N’ sign on the line for a real good time
But he didn’t tell us when
These “good times” would be somethin’
That was really happenin
So the band broke up
An’ it looks like
We will never play again…JOE:
Guess you only get one chance in life
To play a song that goes like…
And, as the band plays their little song,MRS. BORG (who keeps her son, SY, in the closet with the vacuum cleaner)
screams out the window…MRS. BORG:
Turn it down! Turn it DOWN! I have children sleeping here…
Don’t you boys know any nice songs?JOE:
(Speculating on the future)
Well the years was rollin’ by
Heavy Metal ‘n Glitter Rock
Had caught the public eye
Snotty boys with lipstick on
Was really flyin’ high
‘N’ then they got that Disco thing
‘N’ New Wave came along
‘N’ all of a sudden I thought the time
Had come for that old song
We used to play in “Joe’s Garage”
And if I am not wrong
You will soon be dancin to…CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only. If you gotta load or
unload, go to the WHITE ZONE. You’ll love it…JOE:
Well the years was rollin’ by (etc.)…MRS. BORG:
I’m calling THE POLICE!
There! I did it! They’ll be here…shortly!OFFICER BUTZIS:
This is the Police…
We have the garage surrounded
If you come out with your hands up
We guarantee you won’t be harmed
Or hurt, neither (SWAT Team 4, move in!)MRS. BORG:
He used to cut my grass… He was a very nice boy…CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER…
That was Joe’s first confrontation with The Law.
Naturally, we were easy on him.
One of our friendly counselors gave him
A do-nut… and told him to
Stick closer to church-oriented social activities.
They spelled my name wrong again damnit… I’m always gettin’ confused with that “Your Name Here” dude. It only took 47 years though. That ain’t too bad is it?
Master of RedNecking indeed…
