I’d rather be a boy named Sioux…
She named me Dale Darrell Waltrip Richard Petty Rusty Awesome Bill Irvin Gordon Earnhardt Smith…Johnson, Jr.
I guess you could say Momma was a NASCAR fan,
I was born in Talladega up in the stands.
The fans all cheered the second I arrived,
the loudspeaker said “The boy’s born to drive!”
We didn’t have money for a pacifier,
so I sucked on the valve off a Goodyear tire…
a seven pound, eight ounce, son-of-the-south
born with a taste for racin’ in my mouth.
She named me Dale Darrell Waltrip Richard Petty Rusty Awesome Bill Irvin Gordon Earnhardt Smith…Johnson, Jr.
I got my first real stock-car when I was nine,
an old one Momma bought off of Jeff Bodine.
The Winston Cup people said “The boy’s too young”…
’till I qualified second at Darlington.
How in the world could a nine-year-old child
hit 197 in a time trial?
The man said Momma ought to be ashamed…
“but by the way son, tell us what’s your name”?
I told ‘em Dale Darrell Waltrip Richard Petty Rusty Awesome Bill Irvin Gordon Earnhardt Smith…Johnson, Jr.
I got a “Toys-R-Us” sponsor and a new pit-crew.
Daytona loves “Little 52″
The junior-high-school girls are all cheerin’ for me.
I’m out there intimidatin’ “Number 3″
But I ain’t got room on my cards, or my caps, or the helmet I’m drivin’ with…
to write Dale Darrell Waltrip Richard Petty Rusty Awesome Bill Irvin Gordon Earnhardt Smith…Johnson, Jr.
Muther Freakin’ Taxes…
I guess I should do next year’s tomorrow. Couldn’t file electronically. Didn’t have last years PIN. Call the IRuSeless and kept getting transferred to a department that was closed. 3 times. The third time, someone finally told me that dept. was closed. I needed last years AGI and since the computer went tits up a few month’s ago, I could not look it up.
They have since been mailed. That ever most precious post mark applied, and my signature forged. Shit is cool ’round here for now. When the audit comes… that’s when it’ll really get interesting.
I’d quit filin’ the fuckers at all but that didn’t work out too swell for ol’ Wesley Snipes. Probably wouldn’t work out too well for me either.
According to my calculations(and Turbo Tax), the feds need to pay up. I owed the state 10$. The horror… hasn’t started yet.
It’s been raining here like I live in Seattle lately. Tired of that horse shit. I wants some Spring temps and some damned Sun Shine.
If you believe this shit… I’m a
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You Are a Black Panther |
 You see through people. You understand others’ motives and plans. You have a knack for predicting the future. You just know what people are going to do. People are attracted to you. You are naturally able to influence other people’s thoughts. |
Don’t believe it… I didn’t think so…
HT Cappy…
