I held and “stole” the election of these awards. I’m gonna refer to the awards as the STD from here on out cause spellin’ tongue is hard for me. I get all messed up tryin’ to soudn, shit, I can’t even spell sound it out, had to bust out the “white out” for that one. I always wanna write tung. “Silver” and “Devil”, well they’re pretty easy, even for a 43(It’s been good to wear Richard Petty’s # for a year) soon to be 44 year old man.(Leroy Kelly’s #) You didn’t actually think I was gonna make my next year the “Christian Fittipaldi” year did you? From all the extra letters in tongue, I’m figurin’ that word came from france somewhere. Half of those letters don’t do shit. I guess it’s fittin’. Saddam, you better leave or we’ll stick our tongue out at ya, and we’ll get all our UN friends to hep us, neener. Where o’ where is the kick-ass in france(’cept for the Exocet, I hear it’s a BMF).
Alright, back on topic… I was gonna have a vote on it, but since it’s a ‘Necktatorship around here, I’m just gonna elect who I want to. Don’t like it? Prepare to meet your maker. And meet 72 of your anatomically incorrect virgins.
Let me explain the rules:
1. The Silver T’d devil is a male. Ladies, don’t take offense, when I pass out the Lizzy Bordens, or Lorena Bobbit’s (award name undecided to date) you’ll be included too. Funny how those two have the same initials ain’t it? (btw, Queenie, and Key are towards the top, with Christina nippin’ at their heels). Anybody that sends me liquor for Christmas, well, they’re not eligible for entry. I’m thinkin’ of a get me drunk and take advantage of me award. Maybe the Ted Kennedy, but that’d just piss her off and it’d be my luck she’d wind up drowned. Be careful on that island, you’re prolly gonna be with some that drink like ol’ Teddy. That’d be hella baddd(3d’s needed for that kinda bad).
2. Results are final. No vote recountin’ bullshit. I voted, it counted. I fixed the vote. It’s official. This ain’t a Ukraine. It’s Ohio, and you all know, we don’t mess around with ballotin’ procedures. Really. Not like Florida. It’s too cold in November to put up with any hangin’ chads, we flip a coin and call it in the air. It’s a double headed coin, so we get our guy(me) to call “heads!”. Don’t you read the news?
3. Winners don’t need to be present, or coherent to win.
4. Read the first three again, I’m rambling.
Ok without further adieu(another freakin’ frenchy word i think) here’s this years winners… it’s a three way tie? Don’t even drop “runoff” on me. Nope. Not gonna happen. It’s a tie.
Velociman(Kim) gets an STD, cause he uses sooo damned many words I don’t understand. And, he’s got his own mutant.
Acidman(Rob) gets an STD, cause he goes to Costa Rica and helps the locals in “his own special way”. A true humanitarian and all around nice guy.
SWG(Eric) gets an STD, cause well, he’s my Scotch drinkin’ teacher and it all sounds good to the ‘Necktator after a few “lessons”.
Some of the wittier amongst you might have figured out which ones of the above got an STD, and which ones above got an “STD”. I ain’t tellin’…
Honorable mentions in this year’s STD’s in no particualr order…
Jim
Zonker
Dax
Dash
Sam
When you say ‘em all together, it almost sounds like a Christmas song about reighndeer don’t it?
For all y’all wantin’ to know where the inspiration for a “Silver Tongued Devil” comes from… here you go.
The inspiration for the other STD happens on accident, so they tell me… RobThey also tell me no good deed goes unpunished.
 |
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| « Jan | ||||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ||
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
| 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | |||
January 10th, 2005 at 11:58 pm
You, like your scotch, only seem to get better with age.
A fantastic post!
So, when’s the big birthday?
January 11th, 2005 at 12:05 am
Now hold on just a minute, I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours?
January 11th, 2005 at 12:13 am
You are crazy. And I mean that in the “good” way.
January 11th, 2005 at 12:21 am
Is that pic the trophy?
It’s a little creepy.
January 11th, 2005 at 12:28 am
Hell, crazy in a “good” way comin’ from you, still don’t clear it up much now does it?
January 11th, 2005 at 12:31 am
Yes, jmflynny, it’s the lesser of evils. If you stumble acrossed a comment I left at Vman’s to his ANS post, you’ll see what my alternative might have been… It wasn’t purdy. This IS much, much better. Trust me. If I dot it will you feel better about it? Wait ’til you see the “trophy” for the Lizzie, or Lorena… just imagine the possibilities there.
January 11th, 2005 at 3:45 am
Honored as I may be to have made the final cut, surrounded by that gang of Vulgarians, I feel not unlike the rose amongst the thorns. Of course you are aware that “STD” is an oft-used acronym for Sexually Transmitted Disease. Just ask V-Man.
January 11th, 2005 at 7:02 am
43
There is so much else going on in this post I cannot begin to describe, but the fact that someone would enjoy an entire year of their life because their age was Richard Petty’s number is, well, stunning. And a…
January 11th, 2005 at 8:14 am
Atta boy Jimbo, you sir, are quick on the uptake my man.
And Vman, I’m just happy the next year don’t have to be spent as a Fittipaldi, Christian, or otherwise.
January 11th, 2005 at 8:18 am
on STDs…
… good morning, children…. I trust you all slept well… I did too, actually…. but, I have awoken to a breaking news story that shivers me timbers…. I, you see, have been given a STD while I slept… a STD!…….
January 11th, 2005 at 9:45 am
Damn, when I go to sleep, all is quiet, all is well. When I awake, all Hell has broken loose. Silver Tounge Devil, huh? Well, thanks for the honorable mention. Although, I take umbrage at Jim’s comment. Vulgarians? These fine people, sir, are the cream of the proverbial crop among troglodytic rapscallions. I think we deserve a bit more dignified moniker than vulgarians… like maybe… reprobates.
January 11th, 2005 at 9:50 am
I am honored… I think.
January 11th, 2005 at 10:50 am
red..send me yer ip once again and i’ll see if i cant get the big, drooling bitch guarding the door to let her guard down just for you, eh?
January 11th, 2005 at 2:01 pm
Thanks…that’d be cool with me, I think!
January 11th, 2005 at 6:05 pm
OPINIONS, PLEASE
Eric of Straight White Guy is bragging about getting an STD from RedNeck Ramblings. That’s “Silver Tongued Devil” Award, in case you were worried. Apparently it was inspired by a song by Kris Kristofferson. No, *I* don’t know who the…
January 11th, 2005 at 10:57 pm
Why thank you, ‘Neck. I do sincerely appreciate the mention. If and when you and I finally catch up in person, the first few rounds are on me.
(FYI…I have to admit that I suspect that only one of those guys originally had an STD but then – after an especially close encounter at a blog fest – they all had STD’s. They’re like that, you know. Not that there’s anything WRONG with that. ::ahem!::)
January 12th, 2005 at 1:41 am
I’ve been told that my STD scares small children and prety much everybody else. I’m open for trophy suggestions…
January 14th, 2005 at 1:18 pm
Thanks Neck, for the mention. Just another example of guys gettin to have all the fun. ; )
January 30th, 2006 at 10:40 pm
[...] I swear, it boggles the mind what some folks will do to get a silver tounged devil award. (Check down a bit in the comments, you’ll see the whine of a fan who’s flag was thrown the other way). Even when they don’t know who Kris Kristofferson is. The depths they will go to, and drag you through with ‘em on their quest for the silver tongue. Damn. [...]
September 29th, 2006 at 9:20 pm
[...] it, don’t think about it. Just do it. by RedNeck @ 9:17 pm. Filed under General [link] [Trackback:http://www.redneckramblings.com/wp-trackback.php?p=809] [...]